Half is something, not nothing

On April 15th 2018 I completed my first half marathon alongside my best running buddy, Liza.

A HALF MARATHON.

A HALF Marathon.

HALF.

I only did half a marathon.

Not a whole one, just a half.

I might as well not have bothered; it was only a half – rubbish compared to all those who were doing an actual whole marathon at the same time in Brighton.

How quickly we dismiss what we achieve, because of the shiny other thing someone else might’ve done. What would it look like to celebrate what we do, rather than mourn the bits we (often wrongly)believe are missing?

Over the Easter holidays we had a lot of mist over North Norfolk. The easy, sunny days we could’ve had on the beach were replaced with finding stuff to do at home. We had half of much as we could’ve had with sunshine, yet my 6 year old hugged me tight and whispered that she loved me as I settled her into bed. What I saw as being half of something was all she wanted, all she needed, and was more than enough for her. Who am I to argue?

There obviously isn’t anything wrong with being ambitious, but it becomes dangerously counterproductive

when it means walking round with a constant sense of nothingness, of being more crushed than encouraged, and losing satisfac

tion in what we do to the curses of comparison and perceived failure?

I’m proud of my HALF marathon. I’m proud of crossing the line in 2:11:13 as number 1708 wearing my stripy socks and big smile. I worked so flipping hard to train my body (and mind!!) to get round 13.1 miles, and I did it…. to me, it doesn’t matter that my time wasn’t under the elusive 2 hour mark, it doesn’t matter that hundreds of people crossed the finishing line before me, it doesn’t matter that the winner did it almost twice as fast…. today, I choose to celebrate the things I CAN do, the things I HAVE done and the things I WILL do.

I’m not choosing to accept mediocrity, or use self-acceptance as an excuse not to try something, or succumb to laziness; what I’m choosing is to stop seeing nothingness, stop with the non-enoughness and walk away from the crippling lie of comparison.

My half is good enough.